The 5 year plan

Many people know I joined the Navy after High School. Sept 9th 1991 I went to boot camp in Orlando,Fl. Then opon completing bootcamp, I proceded to training in Chicago. After that school was completed I then was stationed in Tennessee for 2 years; I was able to start college there as well as do my normal duties with the Navy.
I dated a little bit, but I really didn't want any thing distracting me or interfering with what I wanted...education, lol. I didn't find out that I was "college material" until I joined the Navy. With military training, schooling material is taught at a very rigorous pace. I guess I thrive in that environment, because not only did I never fall behind, I scored consistantly in the top scores of all my classes. I had never in my life been academicly gifted. Learning and school became top priority. I figured out a 5 year plan for myself. School, Work(Navy), Church.... and definately not until I had attained a Bachelors degree, marriage was NOT in the plan

So After Tennessee, I was sent to Pearl Harbor Hawaii as my next duty station. I arrived on island on a Friday and it was everything everyone says it is...beautiful! I didn't know anyone...at all, and didn't have a car yet. So I looked up the city bus routes and paid I think $1.20 and took the bus all over the island ,lol! I got off the bus at North Shore looked around a while and then got back on another bus and went back to base. All this story is evidence that I was really independent and quite capable of figuring things out on my own, lol!

So that whole bus ride was on Saturday. I got back in that evening and went back to my barracks. I thought about my five year plan a bit and thought, I need to find out where I will be going to church tommorow. So I got out the phone book and looked up my church, called a number and found out where the single go and what time. The person I spoke to was very kind and offered to come to the base and pick me up. So I coordinated a time and was picked up the next morning.

The person who picked me up and gave me a ride was nice. We arrived at the church and I thanked him for the ride and we went inside. I had my scriptures with me and went in and sat down right in the front row.

This wasn't weird to me...I had a five year; plan School work church...focused!

So the gospel doctrine instructor stood up and went to the front of the class. Nice smile, kinda funny, good instructor and knew and loved the gospel. I thought , eh, kind of cute,great smile but....nope, not for me.Flirty guys are a fact that as a girl in the military I had learned how how to deal with. "If he checks me out, I will give him the usual :polite shut down. He was DEFINATLY checking me out. I purposfully ,"didnt notice"..It was time to switch classes and I went to the next class, sat in the front row again.Purposely avoiding eye contact with Jared. As I situated myself peripherally I could see his decision to make his "move" and come and talk to me.

Jared, that gospel doctrine instructor....sat down right next to me. I'm thinking "oh great" He says, "you know.... only dorks sit in the front row" I give him the "why are you even talking to me" look, and replied.." well, I guess I'm a dork". Perfect polite shut down, right?!!! He smiled and said, I guess I'll be a dork today and sit here too..if thats okay"He was so arrogant! I was annoyed but I was mildly intrigued.He sat next to me the remainder of that class.
Afterward the guy that had picked me up from base came up to me and asked me if I wouldn't mind if someone else gave me a ride back to base. He said Jared had volunteered to give me a ride. I could he could see I was aprehensive about "the switcher-oo". He quickly restated himself and said that if I was uncomfortable with riding home with Jared, that he would be fine driving me himself back to base. I told him that it was fine, what ever was easiest and I thanked him for helping to make the transportation arangments.

After Church was over, Jared met me in the foyer. Kinda awkward,because I distictly remember the intention to ignore Jared. I knew his type! The overly confident guy, who loves to use that perfect smile with a perfectly timed wink and play the field...These guys are great fun, they flirt but they are rule breakers. It would be a recipe for disaster. Guys like him like to date, but they always are looking for the great next conquest...another girl.I had decided all these things about Jared so that no matter how sweet or charming he was,I could still easily not like him.

So I got in the car with Jared. He had barely turned the key in the ignition when he turned to me and said, I have to tell you something. I was like" um okay?"... He said, "I have two kids and I have and ex wife. I have a little boy and a little girl and they live in Mississippi with their mom". I was didn't know WHAT to say. This was very obviously deeply personal to him and he was just" putting it out there". I thought about it for a second, and I was like..."Im sorry that they live so far away. I would love to meet them". Jared relaxed into his seat, and put the car in reverse smiled... I think happy or relieved that what he told me didn't freak me out, I don't know, lol!.

What was supposed to be a ride home turned into: Jared offering to show me the island. He DID take me back to the barracks. I changed out my clothes and off we went...He WAS genuine in that he wanted to hang out and show me around...I wasn't getting any weird feelings, so I just relaxed and went with him for the day.

He took me to Hanaama Bay, then over to North Shore, Konehoe Bay...literally, we saw the whole island. It was getting late we got some food. Then he asked, after we ate, if I wanted to see the beach at night. Of course I did! We had been having so much fun all day...but that is potentialy romantic and..and..whatever... I can handle this!

So we have been on what I have begun to realize "a date". I LIKE HIM , dang it! that wasnt supposed to happen. He is taking me somewhere "textbook romantic". He is probablly going to try to kiss me and THAT will ruin EVERYTHING! Let me explain. I have these standards. They're not super complicated your basic true Christian dating standands. But I added "one little rule" No kissing at all on the first date. This one is important to me because maybe I have watched too many old movies.Really though, a total deal breaker if this rule is broken. Oh, and the biggest deal about this rule is that He has to "just know" not to do that on a first date. Sounds unfair now that I said it out loud.

So we drove out to Nanakuli found a beach . After we parked we got out he got out opened the trunk and got a blanket. Im thinking, I KNEW IT! he IS a player! We walk out on the sand a ways and he sets down the blanket and we sit down. We sat there talking about everything and nothing for HOURS. Maybe I was afraid if we stopped talking he would screw everything up and try to kiss me,i don't know. SO I kept talking so that there wouldnt be that weird pre-kiss silence...I dont know. But no kiss, not even an attempt. I am floored at the end of the night.

He takes me back to my barracks and as he is walking me up to my door he says, "do you think if I can impress you, we could go out again?" He totally knew I would but I smiled and said "it all depends, it would have to be pretty impressive" He took a few steps away and stood on the grass and started running and then did 3 front handsprings across the grass! He jogged back over to be smiling. And said, "so, what time tommorow should I come and pick you up?" I'm trying not too like him.. but I do. I did mention he IS SO freaking charming?!

We spent all of our time together from that day forward. I met him on September 5th 1993 and he asked me to marry him Sept 24th and I of course said NO and explained to him my 5 year plan lol! He was persistent,and negotiated and countered and well, we ended up getting married December 11th 1993. 3 Months, So much for my 5 year plan lol!

He was truthful in his bargaining. He promised me that he would support my educational goals and he has put kids to bed made many dinners and helped me type papers until the wee morning hours. I graduated Magna Cum Laude with my degree in Psychology in 2000 from Columbia and I couldn't have done it with out Jared's unwavering support. After 15 years of marriage and 8 kids I can honestly say I am so glad he sat next to me in the front row that first day at church.