Happy Birthday to my little "man cub" as I have always called him. ooooh this one is a post I will have to rely on my typing skills,because seeing my keyboard..I can NOT,LOL!
SO home keys asdf-jkl; I gotta laugh because I got a C in that class in High school because I have to look at the keys...hmm but not today.
12 years ago was the most wonderful day of my entire existence. I experienced what I think the Celestial Kingdom must truly feel like. I with my husband and midwife delivered a healthy and perfect little baby boy.We delivered him in a big tub and so his transition from his warm aqueous environment in me ~ into the tub of warm water I suspect was rather pleasant. He coughed a little and as I held him against my chest I experienced the most profound sense of love I have ever known. I know that Jared felt it too, its one of the only times I have ever seen him shed tears. I wouldn't have even notice except that my midwife was quick with the camera. I have a scanner in "working order" and I am nothing short of elated to be have finally found these pictures.Cryed a little, over some of the amazing good times so I gotta little excited about the scanner thing and scanned a few things that are super special about my Man Cub. 
~Actual excerpt from my journal following Wades Birth~March 18, 1997
How can I even begin to describe the intense emotions I am feeling with this stupid pen!It seems pointless because this elation couldn't possible ever fade. I however, realize how fragile memories are. SO I will attempt the impossible; to describe how I feel. He is perfect in every way, I honestly KNOW this because I without exaggerating, stare at him for 3-4 hours at a stretch.Everyday I wake up and look forward to gazing upon this beautiful bundle of wonderful again! It sounds insane. I just cant look away! He encompasses everything in this world that is good,kind, benevolent, wonderful. I never tire of kissing his beautiful chin or playing with his fingers or rubbing his fuzzy head with my cheek. I love him more every second and I feel like he knows how scared I am to be "a Mom". I am so clueless in the realm of being a parent or nurturing or mothering. He KNOWS, and Wade... he comforts ME?!Its not supposed to be like this. He knows how to wiggle into whatever way he needs to to get comfortable...no whining, crying. He roots around and nurses like a champ. I know it sounds bizarre, but I want to be everything he needs....and Somehow In his little way that we already communicate...He has assured me that I already am. He seems to already exude patience. Rarely cries, sleeps ALOT, I actually have forgotten to change him a few times...because aren't they supposed to cry when they need to be changed? Perfect baby + Fledgling Mother & Dad that works ALOT=alot of PRAYER!
3 comments:
So sweet. It's funny you call yours man cub. Mine I call baby sasquatch..Where do we come up with these things!! Anyways love looking back at the pictures.. Amazing how much time has passed.. I mean gees in 6 years he'll be old enough to move out!!! That's just crazy! Happy Belated birthday Wade!
I can remember right after you had him... he will always hold a special place in my heart- as will you. Happy belated Wade and congrats Eden & Jared on a beautiful family.
I was totally clueless on how to cope with my new identity?How was this perfect & fresh from "The Lords lap" angel sent to ME?!?
I got the basics as far as changing him and bathing him but those items seemed so irrelevant to just nurturing and staring at him trying to summon the "Carol Brady" finesse of mothering abilities; clean house, cute outfit, hair and make-up and a lovely meal for my adoring husband.
Wade was such a perfect "first born" Not knowing much more to do with him besides love him and hold him for hours was exactly what he wanted. Minus most of that list I WAS however blessed with an adoring husband~Another How did THAT happen item....
Post a Comment